The Good, The Bad, and The Hilarious of Parenting

9 Guidelines To Help Teach Good Manners

on February 23, 2012

Good manners are not something that we are born with or that we just discover.  Good manners begin at home and should be taught by parents.

Here are some guidelines that you can use at home:

  • Be kind to others. Telling kids, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” doesn’t really mean anything to them. Instead, stress the importance of treating others the same way they’d like to be treated, especially when you see them doing something that you know they themselves don’t like. For example, if your son hates to be interrupted and yet he interrupts people, then remind him, “Jonah, you really don’t like it when people interrupt you, so please don’t do that to Jeremiah.”
  • Understand their actions. Help your children understand the harm they can cause by doing or saying thoughtless and unkind things. Ask them, “How would you feel if someone pointed at you, and started to laugh?” In the beginning, you may simply be doing damage control, but eventually you’ll be helping them to avoid harmful words or actions.
  • Show them the way. Children do whatever they have to do to express themselves. Sometimes that comes off looking and sounding pretty bad. Playing a role reversal game with your child can help show them how to handle situations. Let them ask the question or behave a certain way, and you respond by showing them how their behavior should appear.
  • Be a good role model. “Do as I say, but not as I do” is a joke. Your kids probably want to respond with, “Yeah, like you’d catch me playing bridge with a bunch of 50-year-old women!” When you want your child to show good manners and respect, you must also practice good manners and respect. Say please and thank you, admit your mistakes, apologize, and treat people, in general, with kindness and respect. The reward of this behavior is that your children will grow up having many friends and a family that loves being around her.
  • Share. Share with your children so they understand the importance of sharing with others. Compliment them when you see them sharing with others.
  • Keep kids healthy. Children tend to behave badly when they’re tired or hungry. Kids need sleep and nutritious foods to survive. It’s that simple.
  • Practice family politeness. Everyone in the family must practice “please” and “thank-you” policy in which, for example, no request is considered unless the person asking says “please.” When one of your children forgets, just give him or her a look that says, “I’m waiting.” They soon catch on. Use the same approach for saying “thank you.”
  • Thank-you notes. Teach your children the importance of thanking people for gifts. Show them how to write notes and make sure that they are sent promptly after receiving gifts.
  • Praise good behavior. Praise is a wonderful teacher. Tell your children how proud you are when you notice them being polite and following the “please” and “thank-you” guidelines that you’ve set
  • Practice, Practice, Practice. With all new skills we need to practice because practice makes perfect.

I wrote about a few books for various ages that can also be helpful in your efforts to raise well-mannered children which is not always an easy task with the obstacles that we battle daily as parents such as TV and popular music.  Needless to say, raising well-mannered children will pay off in the future for you and them.  Children desire structure and guidance as seen in these videos posted on youtube by young adults.  We have an obligation to provide that structure and guidance just as we have an obligation to provide food and shelter.


5 responses to “9 Guidelines To Help Teach Good Manners

  1. t.on.air says:

    Hi there, good tips! I’ll make sure to use them when I decide to have kids. Thanks for visiting my blog!

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