whatsupyournose

The Good, The Bad, and The Hilarious of Parenting

As Long As They Make You Happy

on March 16, 2012

Raising two girls always brings up the dreaded concept of boyfriends and love.  I don’t know but I like to think that it is easier when you raise boys.  Ever since I can remember, I have told K that she couldn’t have a boyfriend unless he made good grades, stayed out of trouble, treated his parents respectfully, went to church, and was active in “something” like sports.  I hammered that into her thinking I would avoid all problems mainly because I didn’t know of any boys young or old that could meet those requirements.

I was safe her first 8 years of school.  At the end of her 8th grade year though, it happened.  K confided in me that a “boy” liked her.  First, I was excited to the core that she “talked” to me!  Second, I ran through our list of requirements which she answered yes to all of them.  I told her to get to know him, and if he made her happy then she would know if they should “date.”  DATE — not really date in the sense that I think of date — they come pick you up.  Your dad gives them the stank eye.  Your little brother attaches to your leg and screams, “Please don’t take my sister away.”  You die of embarrassment.  Yes, that actually happened on my first official date.  Nowadays, date means you text nonstop, and you giggle a lot.  When I was in 8th grade, we called that “going together”.  Nevertheless, they ended up “dating”.  They even went to the 8th grade formal together.

I liked him all right until I begin to realize what this all meant.  It meant he was always on her mind.  It meant watching movies at my house while I heard them giggle over silly stuff.  It meant going to the homecoming dance together. It meant that he went to family events with us.  It meant they (him and his parents) took her places such as the movies and the local theme park.  It meant K wasn’t around as much and was growing up.  It meant I was entering a new phase in my life — one in which I stayed up to curfew worrying until she walked through the door.

We are almost 2 years into this relationship, and I have to say at times I have been rather resentful of this young man.  I have spent countless number of hours trying to nick pick him to death so that K would be set free of such a smart, polite, respectful, church-going, baseball playing young man.  I mean what kind of mother would allow her daughter to “date” a young man that comes from a good family, attends school regularly, makes good grades, and doesn’t get in trouble (and I would know because I teach at the same school and I have had “eyes” on him for over a year now); a young man that goes to church, is actively involved in his youth group, and has invited K on several church activities; a young man that plays basketball and baseball and swims; a young man that makes her smile and laugh and brings her flowers when she is sick.

Wait…. I just read all of that and realized that is exactly what I want for my daughter.  Letting go is not easy no matter how good the situation is — she is still my baby but damn she is growing up so fast, and I am just not ready.  I know they are young, and it might not last forever.  If it doesn’t, I am here for her, and more than willing and able to tell her that she can do sooooo much better, but for now,  if this young man is the best she can do I will let her be happy!

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3 responses to “As Long As They Make You Happy

  1. dannypuppet says:

    This was very sweet. I have two girls ( 5 and 2) and it makes me think of the difficult times ahead, but I like your perspective. BTW I really enjoy reading your blog. Keep up the good work.

  2. […] is an extremely long time.  I give a little bit of background about these love bugs in the post “As Long As They Make You Happy.”  Now understand I use the term dating lightly here because does it really count as a date when […]

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