whatsupyournose

The Good, The Bad, and The Hilarious of Parenting

Moved To Self-Hosting Site — whatsupyournose.com

I have had an amazing time learning how to blog at wordpress and have decided to continue with my blog but on a self-hosted site which will give me more control.  I do hope that you will visit my parenting blog at whatsupyournose.com

I would love your continued support, comments, ideas, and suggestions.  See you there!

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Sweet 16 – A Mother’s Reflection

July 16, 1996 — I entered Henrico Doctor’s Hospital nervous and excited.  My labor was being induced that day.  I was getting ready to be a mother for the first time, and I didn’t know if I was having a boy or a girl.

IT’S A GIRL!  K came into this world quietly foreshadowing her approach to life.  She didn’t kick or scream or give me any problems during birth.  She simply appeared and quietly made the statement that she was here changing lives forever!  When they placed her in my arms, and she gazed at me intently, I realized that I would never make a decision without considering her well being and that my life was no longer my own.

July 16, 2012 — My baby is turning 16 today.  She is over in Greece celebrating with her friends and exploring the world.  As most parents do, I look around her room and see her ipod, makeup, and softball gear and wonder at what point did I miss this transition from baby to young woman.  I only blinked once!

Being her mother is my most treasured role and accomplishment.  She is a beautiful soul who teaches me so much about life by just being herself.  K and I grew up together!  I was a single mother pretty much from the time she was born until I meet my current husband when K was 7 years old.  We were buddies!  I always wanted to be a positive role model for her, but I have to say she has become my role model!

K is strong, focused, motivated, kind, caring, and generous.  She has overcome the burden of having 2 households that didn’t always get along, of having siblings that are as much as 10 years younger than her, and of  defining herself in a trying world.  I learn so very much about life from K.  Trust me, we have our arguments but after the dust settles, there is another lesson I can put down in the books because what she is teaching me are things within myself that I still need to work through.

The relationship between a mother and daughter can range greatly.  I am first her mother!  Being friendly is an extra bonus.  Being her friend is not my priority.  I strive to provide K with the best foundation of information and experience possible.  She is quickly approaching adulthood.  The goal is for K to be a self sufficient, financially independent, healthy and happy woman.  That means I must be her mother first!  She most likely will not understand or be excited about the decisions I make when it comes to privileges or life decisions.  That is okay with me, because I have to do what I believe is the very best for her at the time.

Our relationship continues to evolve.  As I was teaching her to drive, I would look over and see a 5 year old much like that commercial for Subaru.

I ach for my baby and cheer for the woman she is becoming.

As a result of being a mother, my love and understanding for my parents has grown immensely!  I realize that much of what I choose to do today for K may not be understood until she is a mother with a teenage daughter.  I have called my mother to apologize for my behavior as a child/teenager multiple times.  I am greeted with laughter, love and reassurance.  I will be there to do the same for K.

In honor of K’s birthday, I have posted a video of what I say is “Our” song!!  Since, I was a single mother waking up to K each day was a gift.  So, this is “our” song:

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Getting My Baby Fix

As a mother of two beautiful girls, my maternal instincts are strong.  I catch myself “being mommy” to anyone under 25.  If I see a toddler stumble, I reach out to steady them.  If I hear a baby crying, I find myself rocking as if to calm her.  If I see an infant, I can not help but gaze at that innocent face and smile.

But sometimes you just know when enough is enough.  On November 25, 2011, my cousin gave birth to a beautiful 4 lb 12 oz baby girl.  I couldn’t wait to get to the hospital and hold her.  I was eager to marvel over how small her hands and feet were.  I wanted to snuggle her in my arms, smell her baby newness, and get what I call “my baby fix.”

It worked.  She was so small, so amazing, and so beautiful, but after about a half hour, I handed her back to her mother and gently kissed the baby’s forehead.

After the usual talk about labor, me babysitting, and my offer to do anything I could to help her, I turned to leave.  I looked back at her holding the baby and smiled as I walked out the door and then I felt myself sigh!

I love babies!  I love children in general, but at age 40, I simply know that I am done having babies, and even after enjoying holding that sweet little gift, I had no longing for one of my own.  There was a time in my life (like 5 years ago) when I would hold a baby and want one, but now, I hold a baby and sigh with relief when I can give it back!

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