whatsupyournose

The Good, The Bad, and The Hilarious of Parenting

Moved To Self-Hosting Site — whatsupyournose.com

I have had an amazing time learning how to blog at wordpress and have decided to continue with my blog but on a self-hosted site which will give me more control.  I do hope that you will visit my parenting blog at whatsupyournose.com

I would love your continued support, comments, ideas, and suggestions.  See you there!

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9 Funny, Weird Words That My Kids Say

Sometimes what we think we are saying isn’t what we are really saying.  As an adult that can be rather embarrassing, but as a child, it is just so dang cute!!  Here is a list of several strange words my children have used:

1)whipper wipers — those things that clean your windshield when it is raining! AKA – windshield wipers

2)ice pickles — the flavored water we give kids on a hot day.  AKA – popsicles

3) couscous puffs — the chocolate balls of sugar that we feed our kids in the morning with milk.  AKA — Coco Puffs

4)capri suns — you may be thinking it is a drink, but in our house, capri suns are the short pants that you were in the spring because it is not hot enough for shorts but not cold enough for pants.  AKA – capris

5) ear confection — the pain that wakes a child in the middle of the night screaming and crying.  AKA — ear infection

6) bessert — the sweet treat after a meal.  AKA — dessert (to this day, my stepfather still asks for bessert.)

7) eagles — you may think an eagle is the bird that represents the U.S.A, but to my children, eagles are those annoying birds you find at the beach.  AKA– seagulls

8) plump — no, this isn’t what my children call me.  It is the stringy stuff in orange juice.  AKA — pulp (to this day, my 16 year old still ask for OJ with no plump)

9) strudelloop — the warm breakfast pastry with icing.  AKA — toaster strudel

Please make me laugh and leave some of the funny and weird words that your kids have used!

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“You Are Going To Put What Up My Nozzle?”

WHOOOT WHOOOT!  I have been blogging for 6 months.  I started blogging way back on Feb. 5, 2012 starting off with a post about the birth of another cousin.  A month later I explained why I titled my blog What’s Up Your Nose!  Now on my 6 month blogaversary, I am going to share another funny story about what’s up your nose.

My youngest Fa developed a very unsightly wart on one of her fingers on her left hand.  Fa has an extreme aversion to doctors and begged me not to take her to the doctor for it.  So, I thought, “Hey, I can handle this.  I have the internet, and besides, it is just a wart.” 

So, I tried to duct tape that thing to death, but Fa wouldn’t keep the duct tape on it long enough for it to do anything.  I think she kind of liked that wart.  One day I told her to name it and keep it as a pet which she thought was hilarious, but secretly I think she did grow kind of attached to that thing. 

Well, after no luck with the duct tape, I broke down and bought an over-the counter freezing product.  It said it was safe for 4 year olds and up.  That night I explained to Fa what we were going to do in order to keep her from having to go to the doctors.  My thinking was she would coorperate because she DID NOT and I repeat DID NOT want to go to the doctors.  But noooooooo, she immediately had a melt down and started screaming and crying.

As she sat beside me screaming, I tried to read the directions to my husband so he could put that apparitus together.  One statement read, “Now place the white round piece in the nozzle.”

Fa fell out on the bed screaming even louder.  She sat straight up and said, “You are going to put what up my nozzle?  Please don’t put that in my nozzle.”  Well, the more she said nozzle in replace of nostril the harder I laughed.  The more I laughed the more she cried.  It took me a good 30 minutes to explain to her what a nozzle was and the difference between a nozzle and a nostril. 

Oh how she cracks me up.  So, see What’s Up Your Nose is very fitting.  Please browse some of my older post and enjoy my blog on my 6 month blogaversary! 

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4 Major Differences Between Driving In The North And The South

My grandmother use to say, “Girl, I would go through hell with kerosine drawers on for you?”  Well, I felt like I did that for K a few weekends ago, when I drove to Quakertown, Pennsylvania to watch her play in a softball tournament.  I had forgotten there are some vital differences between the North and the South!

  1. First, the way the roads are laid out make no sense to me.  I could be traveling along in what I thought was a straight line only to find 6 differnt roads, intersections, highways, routes, etc. looming in front of me sending me into a full blown panic attack mumbling to myself, “There is no place like home.  There is no place like home.”  Another mother told me that in Pennsylvania they built the roads based on where the cows wondered!  I didn’t see any cows up there which would have probably provided me with some comfort if I had of seen them since I am from a more rural area, but obviously following the cows to build roads was not a very sound plan!
  2. Second, the tolls caught me by surprise.  We have tolls in Virginia, but when I pulled up to the first major toll booth with my standard .75 cents Virginia toll, the lady looked at me as if I was crazy!  As I sat smiling sweetly at her, she growled, “$4.00!”  I gasped, “Really! $4.00!”  “Really!  Could you please pay so we can move this along?”  This $4.00 toll was followed by a $6.00 toll, a $3.00 toll, and ended with a $2.45 toll.  Totaling $15.45 which could almost buy me a half a tank of gas which by the way is more expensive up north!
  3. Third, as I traveled through the heart of Washington D.C., which I didn’t want to do, but the GPS decided it was a good route, I had the pleasure of providing Fa with a basic understanding of urban living.  I answered such questions as: “Why are there so many people… buildings… cars… etc?”  “If there are so many cars, why do so many people walk?”   Is there any grass in the city?”   “Why are all of those people just sitting on the sidewalk or by the building?  They must like to shop a lot because they have tons of bags!”  Homelessness was the hardest to explain.  I don’t know if she could wrap her mind around it, but she did say,  “I sure hope they don’t get in the car with us and try to go to our HOME.”
  4. A typical speed limit sign in the United State...

    A typical speed limit sign in the United States showing a 50 mph restriction. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    Finally, in the south the speed limit signs tend to be enforced making me cautious.  As I entered Pennsylvania, I was going my safe 5 miles over the speed limit — so 55=60, 65=70, etc.  In Pennsylvania, 55=85, 65=95.  NO KIDDING!  So, I moved over to the right lane, also known as the slow lane, since I was going so much slower than everyone else.  Only to see a sign that said, “Slower traffic keep left.”  By now, I was confused, tired, and done, but trying to follow the rules, I moved over to the left lane.  I was then bombarded with blowing horns and people shooting me the finger as they drove by.  Fa held up her middle finger and asked me what it meant.  I told her it must be how they waved Hi in Pennsylvania.  A few minutes later I looked in my rearview mirror to see FA giving everyone the finger!!

To end this story, at dinner I ordered a sweet tea only to be looked at as if I had 3 heads!  A dad of one of the girls on the softball team said, “Honey, sorry to tell you , but you are too far north for sweet tea!!”  I began to mumble, “There is no place like home!  There is no place like home!”

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Summer Bucket List Update #2

A few weeks back I created a Summer Bucket List.  My hope was to slow down and enjoy this amazing time of year.  I wanted to give you an update —

I have been moving a bit slower on tackling my summer bucket list, but I am still making progress and enjoying it.  This week I focused on #8. Make Sure To Do Something Just For Me — Right now I am leaning towards getting a pedi and also, hanging out by the pool without anyone around to watch!  

I did get that pedi with my oldest daughter, K, who just recently returned from a trip to Italy and Greece.  However, my biggest accomplishment towards tackling #8 is in the picture below:

 Do you see that?  A beautiful slice of Chocolate Silk Cake and my new hardwood floors (Thanks Terry) and my new TV with Netflix waiting for me to select any show I want.  Of course, you see that — it is what you don’t see that matters!!  No kids or husband.  No one yelling for a bite of my delicious cake that I bought all for me.  No one fussing about what to watch on the tv!!  Listen!  Do you hear it?  That is right — NOTHING!!  It was just me, myself, and I — I ate that entire slice of cake and watched some trashy movie that I don’t even remember the name of, and I enjoyed every minute of it!  GOOD FOR ME!!
You should try a little peace and quiet and some self-indulgence.  You might just like it!
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Phython Found Wrapped Around Sleeping Baby

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?  This just occured last Monday in Illinois not some far off land, and to make it worse, the two foot long ball python did not belong to the family. 

The parents, Devin and Sarah Lacey Winans,  said they woke to the one year old boy making strange noises.  When they turned the light on in his room, they saw the snake wrapped around the child’s leg trying to eat it’s foot.  The father removed it with a blanket.  They took the boy to the hospital with bite marks, bruises, and scratches.  The little boy will be fine.

The snake is believed to belong to another tenant in the apartment, Shelby C. Guyette, 23, who has been charged with not having the animal in a secure terrarium.  My question is if this snake would have wrapped itself around the little boy’s neck and killed him would she have been charged with murder?

This comes down to personal responsibility and realizing that your actions directly impact everyone around you.  This young woman obviously didn’t take her responsibility seriously regarding this very dangerous pet.  I am not saying she doesn’t have a right to own this strange animal, but if you are going to exercise your rights, you better be prepared to take responsibility for your actions!  Not only did this tenant put this young boy’s life in danger, but she also put small pets in danger and now has cost the county money because the snake has to be cared for, the cost of court, and the burden on the police who were involved.  I believe she should have to pay for all expenses that have been incurred due to her careless behavior. 

Talking about a nightmare.  How do you ever put your child to bed again after something like that happens?

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That Amazing First Date – Not Really!

Yesterday, I posted about my daughter’s first official date and well, it got me to thinking about my first official date.  It was not with the love of my life which is probably a good thing, but it is a date that I will never forget and taught me some valuable lessons.

My family moved 8 times in 8 years, and when I say move, I mean state to state not town to town.  Georgia, Tennesse, Arkansas, North Carolina… you get the picture.  However, my mom and dad worked hard to keep our ties to our family back in Virginia.  My brother and I spent every summer in Virginia and almost every Christmas.  Well, when I was 15 and in Virginia on Christmas break, one of my cousins took me with him to pick up his check from his part-time job.  I was feeling really cool riding around with him.  Once in the store, he introduced him to some of his friends.  Well, one thing lead to another and before I knew it, I had a date with a young man by the name of Mason (don’t remember his last name).

Now I wasn’t just feeling cool because I was riding around with my cousin, but I was walking on cloud nine because I had a date with a really cute guy that was like a year or two older than me.  Did I mention this was my first date ever?  Well, my high didn’t last long because back in the car Johnny reminded me that I had to ask my dad.  I froze — hadn’t thought about that.  You know, usually my dad didn’t travel with us because of his job, but this is one of the few times that he came with us and now I had to ask him and not my mom if I could go on my first date.

I don’t remember how I convinced him to let me go – probably my mom did that for me, but I do remember that NIGHT.  Mason came to the front door of my aunt’s house which was exciting within itself because no one used the front door of her house.  We and everybody that was close to her used the side door — my cousin opened the door and let him in — I remember the living room lights were as bright as lights in an operating room and everybody was in there: Mom, Dad, Johnny, Johnny’s friend Walter, my aunt, my uncle, and my little brother who was 6 years younger than me making him about 9 or so at the time.  Surprisingly, Mason didn’t turn and run.

The next think I remember is trying to walk out the door with Mason.  I was buzzing thinking, “Oh My God!!  I am almost out the door.”  Then BAM!!  My brother runs over and attaches to my leg screaming and crying, “Please don’t take my sister!”  Do you know how young kids will wrap themselves around their father’s leg and sit on Dad’s foot and Dad will walk around with them on their leg?  Well, that is what he did to me but because I was rather petit at 15 I couldn’t walk and trust me I tried.  I pleadingly looked up at my father who had an evil smirk on his face and said, “I guess you guys will have to take him along.”  I quickly came crashing down and turned to look at Mason to see if he was going to leave without me.

My mom chimed in then with a definite NO!  There was no way she was going to let Mason drive me and my little brother around.  This can not get much worse right?  WRONG!  She orders my cousin and his friend to take us.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME? My first date has now turned into a family outing with my little brother, my cousin and a family friend in a STATION WAGON.  Just shoot me.  Mason still went through with the “date” though.

Just some highlights of this date: my brother kept turning around from the front seat to stare at us the entire way to the movies (no seatbelt or car seat laws back then); in the movie theater my brother kept coming up the asile and staring at us the entire movie; OOH yea did I mention that I shut my finger in the door when we got out at the movies.

What did I learn?

  1. I have an amazing brother who will risk life and limb to protect!
  2. I have an amazing family that will always have my back!
  3. That just when you don’t think things could get any worse brace yourself
  4. You can judge a lot about someone’s character based on how they can handle stressful situations
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Silly Saturday – Pug Trilogy

Last week I wrote about the Hunger Games Trilogy.  Then as Fa was recovering from the stomach flu we were watching America’s Funniest Videos and found The Pug Trilogy.  Watch it — it is a hoot. http://youtu.be/iayXoaSDows

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How Do You Know Your A Teacher? By Jeff Foxworthy

A teacher friend of mine shared this on Facebook and thought I really needed to share it with others because it is 100% on point.

  1. You get a secret thrill out of laminating things.
  2. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
  3. You walk into a store and hear the words, “It’s Ms./Mr. ____________ and know you have been spotted.
  4. You have 25 people who  accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
  5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes.
  6. You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period.
  7. You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
  8. You believe the Teacher’s Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
  9. You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off”.
  10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
  11. You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
  12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids are sure mellow today.”
  13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
  14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
  15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
  16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
  17. You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items!
  18. You ask your friends to use their words and explain if the left hand turn he made was a “good choice” or “bad choice.”
  19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.
  20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
  21. You understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents.
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Silly Saturday: People Of Walmart

Whenever I have a bad day I love to go the website People of Walmart.  This video gives you an overview of this site. Believe it or not the guy at 1:46 lives 3 houses down from me!!

 

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